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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

And Then There Were Three

So I spent my days in the hospital daydreaming about what it would be like to be a mom, what my new baby would look like, how my husband would act while I was in labor and how he would be with a new baby, and what labor would be like. I had it all planned out, I mean, I had the time to plan everything out, right? I listened to many other women give birth to their babies, their families come to visit, and then take their little precious bundles of joy home. It seemed like my day would never come...

Poor Matt had cancelled all of his summer plans due to our situation. Summer truly is our favorite time of year and we stuff it full of lots of fun things to do, but this things were a little different. There were many times when I told Matt to go off and have fun, but then some sort of medical emergency would come up and he had to cancel. But not this time...Early in the week Matt asked me if he could go to a golf outing the upcoming weekend. I said that sounded OK, it would probably be the last thing he would do before the baby came. Matt came for a quick visit early in the morning and off he went golfing. We made a deal that I would let him enjoy his day and only call for a real emergency. I remember being very emotional and feeling pretty lonely that day. It was a beautiful summer day and they only way I could enjoy it was by looking out the window.

 It was a pretty typical morning at the hospital for me. My doctor was the on-call doc for the weekend so he came in and checked me. He said that I was still dilated to a two and he thought the baby would come in the next couple of days...Wow! I was so excited, still scared and unprepared! My day was going to be here soon! I remember spending some time hugging my belly and extra enjoying the hiccups and kicks my little one was making.

I didn't get to shower in the morning, I really didn't feel like it. I was feeling very tired and the pain was getting more intense. I didn't even eat much of a breakfast. The floor must have been slow that day because my nurse spent a lot of time with me just small talking in my room. Honestly, I wasn't really up for company. I didn't even have the TV on or use the computer. I had been breathing through contractions for a couple of days and was really using those techniques today. Finally, I asked for something for the pain around lunch, and they gave me two tylenol and warm packs for my back!

3:00 is shift change at our hospital. In walks my nurse and the one that was going to take over. They decided to check me, I think because of the way I was acting. The first nurse checked me and had a sort of panicked look on her face...she made the second nurse check me and then had that same look on her face and she said something like "Call the team" and "Where's the dad at? Get him here"! My doctor was there in a flash and he checked me and said that something kicked him...I was dilated to a seven!

So, my day was finally here, I was going to meet my baby. The details are fuzzy because it all happened so fast, but here is what I recall.

The next thing I know they were throwing a gown on me and making me sign all sorts of papers. My mother-in-law stopped my for a visit in the middle of the chaos and tried to calm me down, but there was no calming down! I was calling, and calling and calling my husband...this was an emergency and he wasn't answering his phone!!!! So my mil tracked down my hubby via his uncle that he was golfing with. It took some persuasion from his uncle to convince him that, yes, I really was going to have this baby asap and to get to the hospital stat!

There was scurrying all about mu hospital room and I felt a sense of urgency and a little panic in the air. I have never been so scared in my life and my husband was not there at my side. I was waiting for the anestheiologist to come and scurry in my room for my spinal, but no...this was an emergency c-section. I was going to be put under, which I didn't really know until I was in the OR. The doctor was afraid that if I sat up for a spinal the baby could get stuck and become oxygen deprived.

There I was now lying in the OR with the "gas mask" aver my face. Now that I knew I had to be asleep for this, I couldn't let myself go, I was so scared...scared for surgery and the baby both. Then I thought to myself "Just go to sleep and when you wake up you will have your baby". I heard someone shout "Dad's here" and then I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up in recovery and was in so much pain, it was ridiculous! I remember the nurse kept having to press on my belly to check for something and it was so incredibly painful. I remember asking the nurse if it was a girl or a boy and she wouldn't tell me, she wanted my husband to, but they wouldn't let him come in to see me yet. Finally he was allowed in and I have never been happier in my whole entire life to see him...he comforted me though my pain and told me we had a baby boy with red hair and ten fingers and ten toes. Then he told me he was going to Peoria just as a precaution. I couldn't hold back the tears and it hurt so bad to cry.

It took what seemed like and eternity, but finally I got to meet my baby before he was flown to Peoria. They took him out of the little travel incubator and put him on my chest. I remember being overcome with joy and love and concern. I wanted to hold him forever and never let him go. I had waited so long for this moment and it was over so quickly, about a minute.  Matt and I quickly discussed names and decided on Jack Matthew. He was so pink and had a full head of red hair - which seemed curly at the time. I kissed him goodbye and told him to behave and off he flew down to Peoria with proud papa right behind the helicopter.

I was back in my room and my parents and in-laws were there waiting for me. I really don't remember much but holding my parent's hands. I spent the night loving my morphine drip. I was so anxious to get out of there and spend time with my new baby that it felt that I didn't sleep. I was also concerned about him...I was so out of it and didn't comprehend anything that was going on.

So Jack Matthew, you were born on a hot summer Saturday, July 17th, at 4:14pm, 5 lbs 2 oz and 18 inches long. You were born at 31 weeks and 5 days according to my doctor. You were absolutely perfect in every way and I have never seen your daddy smile the way he did the day you were born. I instantly fell head over heels in love with you and my heart was overflowing with joy, just as it is while I'm writing this.

Minutes after you were born at Ottawa Hospital

Our first family portrait
One proud Papa, fresh off the golf course!
The first time we met...I will never forget that moment.

As I wrote this tonight my eyes filled with tears and my heart with joy. That day and every day have been special since you entered the world. I am so proud to be your mommy no matter what lies ahead of us!

"The sun does not shine for a few trees and flowers, but for the wide world's joy." Henry Ward Beecher

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